Reid Me Like a Book
by grimdark
Summary: Just drabble. I was forced to write this.


James Ford was in trouble for the last time. This time he had been caught for (more like the conspiracy of) the assassination on 'Mr. Sawyer'; the one who had killed his parents. He was waiting to be asked why.

The arrogant man, now assuming the name of the one he had loathed so, drummed his fingers violently upon the interrogation room table at Quantico. He simply refused to say anything to the regular police, no matter what they did, and so SSA Jason Gideon had been pulled into the mess. If an expert a profiler as he couldn't extract the MO from a simple Southern con man along with a little confession, the bureau figured no one could.

Sawyer, was of course, pissy. His dark blue eyes brooded as they often did out into the one way glass. Behind it, looking to the UnSub of the day, Emily Prentiss watched along with Gideon. Dr. Spencer Reid had his back turned to the intimidationg glare which, impossibly, seemed directed at him. Maybe he shouldn't sit in the middle of the room, he thought.

"What do you think is with this guy, Agent Gideon? One minute he's screaming at the glass for someone to come and talk to him, the net he's giving a mirror a death glare." Prentiss stood from her wooden chair and began to pace.

"Obviously..." piped up the meek little profiler who couldn't even seem to bring his gaze to the UnSub's "He's got a lot of surpressed rage. He's been through a lot of traumatizing things. I mean, whatever happened in his childhood coupled with whatever happened on that island and that whole plane crash. How many people do you think he watched die?"

"Probably unflinchingly," Gideon rumbled in his low voice. He stared insensly into Sawyer's unknowing features. "He did kill a man."

"Maybe it was only in revenge? What do you think, Reid?"

"It could very well be. It's not like this guy is a serial murderer, you know,"

"Prentiss; stay in here and keep a regestry of his movments. Base him on that. Reid; you come with me and focus on his face. I'll ask the questions, but feel free to interupt me if you think of something." The small team nodded and went to their tasks.

"Entrance stage right," Sawyer smirked, rolling his tongue in his mouth. Spencer blinked lightly at him and frowned.

"Ah... This is the left entrance,"

"..." Sawyer fell silent as Gideon took his seat. Reid stood quietly behind his superior, arms crossed. He felt very uncomfortable with the way that criminal was eyeing him, never looking at the man seated right before him.

"So, James," Gideon folded his hands in front of him, giving the other the same intense look he had behind the glass. "How are you?"

"Oh, no, no. I'm not fallin' fer this interrogation crap. It's been tried on me in, like, seventy differ'nt jails,"

"You're not in jail," Spencer corrected, tucking a strand of his hair behind an ear.

"You just shut up," Sawyer bitterly spat. Reid looked down at his shoes.

"Why'd you do it, James?" Gideon had pretended to ignore the little tussle the two younger males had just had. Poor Spencer, he thought. Too smart for his own good.

"I'll tell that there pretty little nerd boy, but you and your cameras gotta get the hell outta my face," The smirk had returned to his face. He knew he could push that meek little Reid around like a kid with a wheelbarrow. Full of stuffed bunnies. Made of plastic. With 6 wheels.

Reid's face instantly flushed.

"Wh-what? Why? Why me?"

"Beat it, ya saggy ol' fart."

Gideon frowned. More deeply than any other time. Saggy old fart? That really hurts a guy.

"I-I can handle it, Gideon. Really," Reid murmured. He didn't want to back down. Not in front of Jason Gideon, and definitely not in front of a testy UnSub.

"Fine." Gideon said, lifting himself from his chair. He exited to the right, probably to confuse and spite Sawyer who'd think it to be left, and turned off the cameras as he was told. He knew Reid was bugged.

"Well hey there, Chicken Legs!" Sawyer grinned almost goodnaturedly as Reid took Gideon's seat.

"Dr. Spencer Reid. Not chicken legs." This was his attempt at asserting himself. But it obviously didn't work, since he couldn't bring himself to look at the scruffy man.

"Dr. Spencer Peed. His pants."

Reid grunted.

"Why'd you do it, Mr. Ford?"

"Why do you touch yourself at night, pretty boy?" Reid's eyes shot up, almost horrified.

"Wh-why are you being so difficult?"

"I only do things in exchange, boy."

"What do you want?" Reid's words were becoming bitter and spat.

"A kiss,"

"..." What? Reid's eyes grew wide and he quickly looked away again.  
"I'm not... I'm not... I'm not gay," He murmured.

"Don't needa be. Just gimme a kiss."

"N-no!" Spencer stood from his seat quickly and turned his back to Sawyer.

"Whatssa matter, boy? You scared to crack this case?" And then Reid thought about it. The cameras were off. Only he and this raving, crazy man would know. No one would believe him. He's crazy. He put a finger to the device in his ear and spoke lowly.

"Leave, Gideon. Prentiss too. Don't watch me."

"Affirmative," replied Emily's voice in his ear and he soon heard the external door shut.

"Okay. Fine. I can't believe I'm gonna do this," huffed a shaking Reid. He made his way slowly over to Sawyer, shaking in his shoes. The other reached out to him and grabbed his tie, pulling him down in one swift jerk. Reid squeaked at this action and pouted very, very unhappily.

"Why don't you smile, chicken legs? I'm probably the only kiss you'll ever get in yer whole damn life."

"A-actually I've been prepossitioned by many a prostitute... I just declined."

"Too good for 'em?" Sawyer rumbled before forcing his lips onto poor, defenseless Spencer's. And unfortunately for him, he decided he quite liked it. He found himself returning. And then quite suddenly, he found himself pushed off and sprawled out on the floor. On his back.

"Now let's get down to business." Sawyer grinned almost as though he'd just received a Glasgow smile. The slick con man simply squeezed out of his handcuffs, in some way that Spencer couldn't even think of, and topped him.


End file.
